For the times that you hurt

The year is 2016 and We the People have become so damn PC about everything and feeling that we need to share our feelings about everything which is fine, but I feel like we forget that we don’t have to tell everyone everything.

Not because you need to sit in your whatever it is that you are feeling(s) alone, but we tell people our problems in hopes that they can fix us. We want a quick fix for anything. Heck, in this day and age, near anything is fast. Food, shipping, gaining weight, hurting someone’s feelings, changing your hair color. It’s quick and easy. That’s what people want. But when we try to fix whatever it is that’s ailing us, whether it be a broken heart or a bruised ego, we try and jump back to happy and we don’t have a chance to reflect in our whatever it is.

Everything is based around happiness. There are millions of songs and self help books boosting about how easy it is to be happy. Eat better, walk a mile, stand in the sunshine. Like those are the 3 things to do and you will magically be a smiling fool.

Well I hate to break it to you, but that isn’t how it happens. Some people aren’t happy. Some people fluctuate between so many feelings out there, they don’t know exactly what it is they are feeling at any given time and you know what? That is a-ok.

It is okay to sit there and be sad. It is okay to not want to smile or go out to lunch with a friend because their peppy, infectious laugh is not something that you want to hear today. It is okay to cry in the bathtub one (or five) good times to get some of the tears out. It is okay to sit by the window while playing cheesy, sad love songs from the 80s and imagining that they wrote that song with you in mind. It is more than okay to throw pillows and shoes and dishes (although I suggest buying some cheap dollar store ones if you are planning on throwing them. Dishes are expensive) against a wall if you are not harming yourself or another. It’s okay to write cheesy, sappy poetry that doesn’t rhyme if it helps you get your feelings out. Or watching P.S I love you a million times and rewinding the part where they are in the restaurant and he tells her that he never planned to fall in love with her at least 15 times over because damn it, it makes you cry and you need a good cry today!

It is okay to just be.

It is not okay, however, to try and fake your way into happiness to appease others around you. Or to ignore your hurt. It won’t go away. It doesn’t magically stop. It doesn’t make you weak, or less of a person if you are sad or mad or angry or depressed. We seem to be so evolved for many things in this day and age but mental health is not one of those things we seem to be able to deal with. It is so fucking taboo at this point to say “Hey, I think something is a little off in my brain.” And you know what, that isn’t okay. We don’t ask to be hurt. We don’t ask to be upset or angry or any of the things that we are, but we are.

And it’s okay because we can just be.