This is not going to be as creepy at the first 5 words make it out to be, I swear. Well it might be, I have no clue.
While I currently have no human babies of mine, just super furry ones who like to steal my covers while I slumber and kick me off the bed to get the coveted pillow, I might one day in the super far off future realize that I would like one of you little creatures. And, if you are an offspring on mine, and humanity has managed to not cause the downfall of modern society, you might just be reading this in about 20 years. I will totally print off a copy and laminate it for you, so you can cradle it in your palms while reading by candle light. I really don’t see America staying too industrialized for that much longer, but that’s a whole different exciting post. Whatever.
Back to you, kiddo. I have high hopes for you, I really do. While I would love for you to be the human to fully eradicate cancer or prove that Mermaids do exist, I understand that I can barely pass a college required math course so I won’t be too disappointed in you if you are a dentist instead or even terrified of the ocean. As long as you love Harry Potter and have green eyes like me. Just kidding, I will be proud of you regardless. Jeffrey Dahmer’s parents still loved him. But in all seriousness kiddo, I need for you to take away a few things from me.
1. You can do anything that you set your mind too, within reason. Yes I will be that parent who talks to her child in an adult way. Why? My dad did it to me, and I grew up realizing a few things that my other friends did not. I grew up knowing that even though I wanted to be a mad scientist, it probably wouldn’t happen. Why? I cannot math. I will be realistic with you, not because I am cruel, quite the opposite actually. I don’t want you to grow up with more heartache then you actually need. I will build you up child, and I will relish all the times we play “Princess and Goblins” and I will let you be the Goblin if you don’t want to play the princess and I will love it. I however, will not tell you that you can be whatever you want when you grow up because it is just not the truth. I want you to grow up with goals, not dreams. Dreams are not bad thing, of course not. But they are however just that; dreams.
2. I will always love you, but I will not always like you. Again, I know that sounds harsh, I mean I technically don’t even know you yet. I have no idea if you have an easy temperament or if you are like me and are a raging ball of anger and energy who runs into everything. You could be the sweetest child in the universe but I am sorry, you will get on my nerves. You will make me want to hide in another room and you will definitely make me want to lost mah mind. You just will. Just like I do the same thing to my own father. Still to this day, I find him shaking his head at me after I say something strange, or come by the house with another tattoo. He of course loves me, but he dang sure don’t like me. And he doesn’t have too. His job has always been to be a parent, not a friend. He’s done an exemplary job of it as well.
3. I am absolutely terrified of children and I don’t know you yet, but I already love you. I have been planning on what to name you since I was around 13. I find myself sitting there wondering if you will have wavy brown hair like myself or blonde like my sisters. Will you look like me or like your father? Will you have green/gray eyes like me? Or brown or blue? I hope you are tall, and not short like I am. My whole family is tall so maybe you will get lucky and they will cancel out any short genes. Are you going to love to read as much as I do? What if you hate books, or music? What if you want to play sports? I am literally the worst at playing contact sports because I usually get hit in the face, a lot. I seriously hope that you are good at more than just reading books. I just need you to know, that I love you. And by the time you make it into this world, my love for you will grow and I won’t care if you are the opposite of me, actually that might be nice, all that will matter is that you are here.
Little one, sweet one, I do love you. And while you may never read this, like I said humanity might be going down the toilet, I will make sure you know how loved you are. The world is a cold place, but I will always be there to hold you in my arms and make it better.