Day 11

So, I slacked off this weekend again, but in my defense I went to the beach Saturday and it was the celebration of the Fathers yesterday so, my bad.

Anyway, here is Day 11- “Something that you will always think “What If” about?”

Well, this one will be a little broad, but I think that’s how I feel about everything because that’s just the kind of person that I am.

I think “What If” about everything. Literally everything. My mind works 90 to nothing over everything.

What if I didn’t cut my hair? What if we had not moved from Minnesota? What if I was actually on time the morning of my wreck? Would I still have gotten hit? What if I didn’t say yes when my now Huzzy proposed to me?

My mind is a constant churning of questions; it never actually stops long enough for me to take a second and think that everything is okay because it is the way it worked out. I am constantly going over and over and over all of my actions, what I’ve said, what I have done. It is exhausting. And honestly, it’s pointless. I don’t own a time turner, I cannot go back and change anything. I don’t even know if I would want too. The thought terrifies me.

When I was in about 6th grade we read a story about someone who went back in time. He was specifically told “Do NOT touch anything, you can change the course of history.” And what did he do? Stepped on a butterfly. And BOOM. Epic world change.

Even 11/22/63 from Stephen King shows just how bad the repercussions of changing little tiny slots of time would be. Also, that book is just super incredible anyway. If you like history, you would love that.

Anyway, I am a “What If” person through and through. I have no shame about it. The important thing will always be to live in the present and not worry about what didn’t happen.

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