Day 8 of my life in words

Today is actually a lot tougher for me to articulate than yesterday was simply because my answer will be a little more broad.

Day 8 is “Something that you struggle with.”

My answer? Everything.

One of the first subjects I ever wrote about was my struggle with adulthood. I am just no good at it.

I can’t math, I can’t sing, I have literally the worst handwriting in the world.

I get tired of everything far too often. I get cranky easy. Life is hard dude. It really is. Like for instance, I burned my elbow on my car door today. ON. MY. STINKING. CAR DOOR. And it burned like a mo-fo. Sweet Lord up in Heaven.

Anyway, I have so many insecurities; do people even like me, do I have bad breath, am I actually funny and that’s why people laugh or do they feel bad for me? I struggle with social anxiety. And I have a hard time admitting that because when I told someone that not too long ago they told me that everyone struggles with it. Get over it.  But that’s nearly impossible. I found a little comic strip today depicting anxiety  and I almost broke down into tears because of how real it was.

Being a person in general is terrifying. Every time I am out in a public place all I can think about is, “What do these people think of me? Can they tell I’ve gained weight? Do they think I am pretty? Ugly? Plain?” And it doesn’t stop. It is exhausting. I struggle with my self-worth. With my self-image. I struggle with myself.

I wish I had a positive spin to put on the end of this, but I don’t. I apologize. Like I said, sometimes I am bad at stuff.

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4 thoughts on “Day 8 of my life in words

  1. so I struggle with similiar stuff, mainly adulting and sociatel interactions, my philosophy of interaction is different from the norms making being social a bit more difficult sometimes, so you’re not alone in that boat of yours, but best friends and the huzzy can make dealing with such things actually managable

    Liked by 1 person

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