What marriage is and what it’s not.

If you have followed my magical and lovely brain utterances, you know that I am a married maiden. Or lady? Anyway, I got that rock on mah finga. And because we have since hit our one year mark and then some, I figured I would dazzle you beautiful hoo-mans with real life marriage life.

My sweet Huzzy and I have been together for a total of 10 years. 9 dating and 2 glorious year of marriage. And it’s been really real.  We have known each other since I moved here when I was 11 and I am 24 now, so we were not strangers by any means when we decided to shoo our courtship into something the government should be able to interfere with. I never really had any expectations about marriage prior to us actually putting on the dress clothes and reciting our handwritten vows in front of the masses of family and friends that attended, but after the first month I realized anything that I had expected can go ahead and be wrapped up in a pretty little bow and thrown upon Mt. Crumpet cause it was all useless information at that point.

1. Marriage isn’t hard per say, but it is a lot of work. It’s no longer just you and your cats chilling on the weekends, staying up late to watch reruns of The Office while eating chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Nope. Now you have another human that wants to sit up and watch it with you. (Unless they hate The Office. In which case, I will get you the number to the nearest divorce lawyer cause letsbehonest, who doesn’t love The Office?) Or, even worse, you have another human that doesn’t want to do any of the same things you want to do and you have to learn how to compromise…

2. You are no longer in charge of just your life, you have someone else too.  And sometimes (if not already) you will have little humans that you are also in charge of. (For the record, I only have fur-children not human babies but this is still the same) Life is no longer just you (and your cats!!! I didn’t forget), and it won’t ever just be for you. Cause now you have your own family. And the choices you make now determine what happens in your future, or what doesn’t happen for that matter. You sometimes have to make the decision between buying the last season of Parks and Recreation or dog food and obviously you get the dog food, but you can’t help but feel the pang of sadness in your chest because you have to wait another week to see Ben Wyatts bodacious bod. *Sighhhhhh*

3. Even though you want to say ugly things, you gotta reign that in.  If you are anything like I am, you are a vocal person. Which is a great thing to be! But sometimes, you let your mouth get away from you and say hurtful things. There are some things that you can’t take back, like telling someone that they are heavy. Don’t do that. Ever. Even if you think you are being helpful, cause I pinky promise you, it’s not helpful in the least bit. You see the ugly parts of another person, and the hurtful/stubborn/angry/stupid parts but you love them and they love you, because the see the same in you.

4. You are going to fight, a lot. And sometimes it’ll be about stupid things like, whose turn it is to cut off the light in the kitchen or who  needs to take the trash  to the road. And sometimes you’ll argue about what you want to watch on TV because YOU want to watch a show about serial killers and THEY want to watch some stupid looking show based on a bug and one of you has to give up the fight and it might end with you chucking the remote across the room and going upstairs for a bit cause you “literally couldn’t effing care about anything right now, ya jackass! Thanks for asking!”and  just wow. Yeah, wow. It happens.

5. You are going to make stupid choices. Why do you make stupid choices, you might ask..? I wish I knew, but you are. You might spend too much money on a project without realizing you have to pay bills or consulting the other person (because yes, you need to talk to the other person when you plan on spending an exorbitant amount of money), or you might put something that is realllllly super important in a safe space and forget where said safe space is, (like your birth certificate and marriage license so you can legally change your last name 3 years later…) or maybe you just make really dumb decisions about other things without thinking of your spouse (which does tie back into the second point). How you push through your problems will determine how the rest of your marriage will go. And how you want to fix/deal/cope with choices also plays a lot into the future. People aren’t disposable but neither is marriage, whether or not you can brave a storm is different.

Marriage is hard. Is it worth it? I am inclined to say yes, yes it is. Because at the end of the day, I know that no matter what happens, I get to go home to my husband, put my head on his shoulder and know that we are each others. And if that ain’t a happy thought, well I dunno what is.

 

 

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