“I know a few things about love,

Horrible, terrible, awful, awful things” -Andrew ‘the Nard-Dog’ Bernard

Okay, Love is not a bad thing. I already wrote a whole ditty about how I love Love. And I do. I truly do. It is Magical/Divine/Pleasing/Wonderful/Lovely/Beautiful and Great. It is. But it is also heart-wrenching. And lousy and stupid and rotten and difficult.

How often do we fall for people that never love reciprocate our feelings back? And I am not talking about a mild crush. No. There are novels upon novels upon novels of unrequited love! Do you hear me? THOUSANDS! All because he loved her but she loved someone else who loved someone else who loved no one. Tale as old as time.

Even as I’m sitting here sharing my brain with you, I am listening to Taylor Swift Radio on Pandora which plays nothing but love songs. Happy love and sad love and so-so love. Why? Because even if you don’t want to admit it, people love love too. That’s why there are so many movies with love triangles even though you know 9 times out of 10 the guy gets the girl and all is right with the world. And when the guy doesn’t get the girl? It leaves a funny taste in your mouth because you know how it should have ended. You know its true.

True love though, its really hard. Its all fun and games when the prince meets the common girl who lost a shoe or her voice or fell asleep and has his eyes open to the beauty of “true love” and declares that they shall be married in the morning! But what are you setting yourself up for there Prince Charming? Do you really know if you are equipped to deal with her crazy? What if she leaves her socks lying around the palace? Or is not a morning person but you are? Or has really bad breath? Or has nappy hair in the morning and doesn’t like dogs? What do you do then? Ship her back to the village where you found her? Because that’s kinda low, bruh.

Love is really difficult. I think there could be more than one person out there for everyone. There has to be, with a world so big it puts you at a disadvantage to live in Florida and have your person in Germany. Where you have never been and will never go. Amiright? I know I am, I usually am.

And then in order to BE in a relationship you have to find someone. And that in itself is an Olympic event. I dunno how it is for guys, ya know since I’ve never been one, but for women its hard. We are help up to such a high esteem. In order to prepare for a date you gotta pluck and wax and shave and get new clothes and get your hair done and you make up done so you look like a hottie, except you don’t really look like that all the time and your date knows that but the first time they see you without make up its a shocker. So basically, you start off on a lie.

And then once you’re in the relationship you have to work to keep the balance between you two love birds, your family, your cat and your job. And that’s exhausting too. Because you start to straddle the line between who you actually are and your better behavior so you don’t weird them out too fast.

And sometimes you win in your relationship and you get engaged and your plan your fairy tale out and get married and live semi-happy ever after.

Or you don’t. And you start out again and that’s terrifying.

You dedicate yourself to someone and sometimes you fall hard, hard enough to crack your heart and sometimes they have the duct tape to fix it, sometimes they don’t.

And as I leave you with the remnants of my brain, I just want you to know that I am listening to “All of you.” Because someone, some day will love all of you.

Or they wont. It’s a toss up.

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