I loath exercise buttttttttt it’s time for New Years.

No really. I hate it. If I could never work out ever in my life, I would be content. I have forced myself to get up early and go to the gym so I can trot along on the dread-mill all the while I am envisioning Dairy Queen blizzards and Oreos and greasy burgers and French fries and dill pickle chips and where was I? Oh, exercise. Ugh. I have never understood the people that are excited to get out there and do five thousand crunches and pull ups. Don’t even get me started on how I feel about Zumba. Or anything involving movement where I jiggle in places that should stay put. Plus, I sweat like a man. Like a straight up MAN. And that my friends, is no fun. But back to what this is about. I have always struggled with weight issues. I have never been “overweight” per say, but I have never had a smoking hot bod either. I have days where I feel like a million bucks in my clothes and others where I start to cry while throwing everything around my room because nothing fits the right way. You can ask my husband, it is not fun for either of us.

I am the youngest out of three girls. My sisters are both goddesses. Just picture the prettiest women that you know of and you probably came close to picturing them. They both have mermaid length blonde hair and icy blue eyes, legs for days and smoking bodies. I can say that and it not be weird since I am related. But I, on the other hand, resemble more of a hobbit than anything. I am 5’4, dark brown hair with grayish eyes and stumpy legs. The only thing that I am even remotely proud of is my eye color, my grandpa also has the same color eyes. Anyway, I have always been the black sheep of my family, looks wise and attitude wise. My oldest sister is dedicated to working out. The middle one can eat anything and everything and lose weight. It’s unbelievable. Don’t get me wrong, I have always been told I have a pretty face and don’t even get me started on my fabulous dimples, seriously, you’re making me blush ;). But as far as my body goes, I have always been softer in the middle and that hurts.

I dread clothes shopping because finding stuff that “effectively hides my thunder” (Tobias Funke anyone?) and flattens my bodacious bod all the while making me feel like a HOT-TEA, is super hard. So, I try not to go. Unless it is for t-shirts cause Lord knows I have enough of those to clothe a small community. Anyway, I am tired of feeling like Violet Beauregarde when she blows up like a blueberry, except I am not the lovely shade of bluish-berryish that she was. Since we are indeed nearing the end of the year and everyone will be loosing those 10 pesky pounds they have been holding onto for the last ten years or so, I figure why not jump on that bandwagon? I mean, even if it has already doubled in load capacity weight they have room for one more right? Onward and Upward! (Tobias again, #sorrynotsorry?)

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